For when you are in-between

It’s February, right? The month of roses, cupid, Valentine hearts and cold winter wind? February. Here in the South, though, the dogwoods are blooming, the sun is shining, I’m wearing flip flops and the boys are already whining about the heat. Seriously? Spring appears to have sprung in February. And we suddenly find ourselves in between seasons. But. I’ve lived here long enough not to trust it. Appearances can be deceiving and there is no clearer example of that than the weather in Georgia. It could snow tomorrow.

And honestly, as much as I like the beautiful days in the middle of winter; they make me nervous. I smile at the flowers and drink in the sunshine, but I just can’t settle. We should still be wearing boots.

The boys argue that the winter clothes can be packed away and the blankets taken off the beds. The pants that they have worn only once this season are no longer needed. Shorts forever —  they declare!  But I’m not sold. I’m pretty sure that this warm snap isn’t the real thing. I’m pretty sure we will have the you must wear pants argument again in the coming weeks.

Because here’s the thing. The calendar is quite clear. It’s still February.

And before I hand it all over to the next season, I need to know that the new one is going to stick. Before I pack up all the winter gear and declare that we are done here, I need to know that the next season is here for good; that it is real  and trustworthy.

Otherwise, we’re not going anywhere. We will just stay here in this in-between.

Ever been there in real life?  In-between? That place where one thing seems to be ending and another beginning, but you’re just not sure. The new job, the new relationship, the new project, they all seem to be ready to kick off, but you’re still holding onto the old one wondering if it is really time to pack it up and move on. It’s a tough place to be.

Like the dazzling summer sun outside my office window, the next season can dance its glittery rays of light right before your eyes and you can want to embrace it. But can you trust it? Will it stick?

I watch the carpenter bees boring holes into our deck railing and marvel at their early arrival. They seem unconcerned that the seasons are mixed up. They don’t hover on the edge of the wood and wonder if it’s ok to start eating (wouldn’t that be nice!) No. They trust that the sun is warm and the flowers are blooming; so it must be time to go. And they do what they were made to do.

I don’t know about you. But I don’t trust like that. I wait for signs and wring my hands and ask others opinions and beg God for clarity. I leave the warm clothes in boxes lining the hallway for weeks; just in case.

The in-between is a season of leaving all the options open.

Moses and the wandering Israelites come to mind as I feel the warm breeze waft through the open back door. Moses, the only prophet who actually spoke to God face to face. And yet even he wavered, doubted and hung out in-between longing for assurances. Moses. He may be one of my most favorite Old Testament characters. You see Moses had this way of being in relationship with God in real life. It wasn’t holy and fake and faraway. It was alive and messy and full of questions.

“Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.” (Exodus 33:12-13).

The Israelites are God’s people and Moses is their leader, but he isn’t sure what’s next.  They are in-between. And even though his face is still glowing from having been in the presence of God. Even though he has heard the voice and seen the glory of his Creator, he still isn’t sure. Do we go or do we stay? Who are you sending to lead us? How do I know you are still in this with me? He asked real questions about the heaviness of real life.

How many times have you stood  in that in-between spot and begged for clarity? How many times have you wondered if you were doing it right? This way, Lord? Are you sure? What if? Yeah. I’ve done it all.

“If your Presence does not go with us do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with us unless you go with us?” (Exodus 33:15-16). I  can hear the crack in Moses’ voice as he asks it. This is crazy, Lord. We are out here in the desert wandering around and you keep telling me you are going to lead us. But how in the world am I gonna know it’s you?

How will I know if this is the right decision for my child? How will I know if I should take this job or that one? How will I know if this is the place you intend me to live? How will I know if I am to stay here in between places or if I am to go? How?

“And the Lord replied, My Presence will go with you…“(Exodus 33: 14). 

And the Lord replied. That’s my favorite line. Moses’ persistent questioning was met with an answer. God replied.

It probably wasn’t exactly the answer that Moses was looking for, though. No clearly laid out plans or name of a certain leader who was going to come and make it all work out. No maps or charts or numbers to back up the path they were going to take. None of that. Just this.

My Spirit will lead you. Go on. I will go first and you will follow. Trust me and listen.

He didn’t get exact answers. Instead he got the glory of his Creator. He got to see it pass right by. He got Immanuel, God with him. And the answers he was seeking paled in comparison.

So, maybe spring does come in February. Maybe it will snow in April. Maybe God will answer all of our prayers with perfectly clear directions. Or maybe our words will seem to fall into the quiet stillness of the night.

But know this.

He hears us when we pray. Always. When we humble ourselves  before him seeking answers, he knows exactly where we stand; in mixed up seasons, in-between places and desert mountains. He knows.

And the Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you and I will give you rest.”

No matter the season, this is what we were made to do. Be with our God. His presence with us is better than any well laid plans we could ever make.